Being a parent and bringing up kids the right way, giving them the best you can, being strict just enough and yet winning their love is not an easy task. We all know that words can hurt deeper than a knife, which is why knowing how to communicate with your kids and what not to do is key. Pay attention to these phrases you should never say to your kids or teens to help them and protect them. If your teen is upset about something, whether it’s a crush that won’t notice them or a fight with their best friend, you shouldn’t just tell them that they’re okay. This type of response from you will only make things worse.
A study conducted by the University of Notre Dame found that when parents criticize themselves out loud with their children nearby, it can actually have a detrimental effect on their kids’ self-esteem.
If you want your child to grow up to be self-sufficient, don’t be too hands-on. You can, however, guide them through a problem and help them find the right solution themselves. This way, your child will grow up knowing that everything is in their own hands, instead of naïvely waiting for somebody else to come and make all their problems disappear.
Music:
Audionautix - Straighty Baby
TIMESTAMPS
#10. “You're okay.” 0:50
#9. “I'm so fat!” 1:50
#8. “Hurry up!” 2:47
#7. “Don't be sad.” 3:50
#6. “Let me do it.” 4:50
#5. “You're so incredible!” 5:52
#4. “Good job!” 7:10
#3. “You need to set a good example for your little brother/sister” 8:04
#2. “Go kiss Grandma.” 9:02
#1. “I'm so proud of you!” 9:55
SUMMARY
-Instead of telling your kids it’s okay, be their shoulder to cry on, listen to them, and acknowledge their feelings. This way, they won’t be afraid to come to you if something bad happens.
-Our parents are our role models as we’re growing up, and their behavior sets an example for us. So, for example, when a mother calls herself fat all the time, her daughter subconsciously learns to view her body and appearance the same way.
-Rushing just puts unnecessary pressure on your kid. Whatever you do, just try to keep a positive and playful vibe in the morning, your kid will surely appreciate it.
-If your teen is sad or crying, sit them down and try to help them work through their feelings, that is, if they’re comfortable opening up.
-If you tend to jump in too soon, you may undermine your child's independence. They’ll develop a habit of always looking to others for answers, and nobody wants that for their kids.
-Inflated praise somehow puts even more pressure on children with low self-esteem as opposed to encouraging them. They start to worry about meeting the high standards you set again, so they're afraid to take on a challenge.
-Asking questions about the details and the work it took to get the result keeps the focus on your kid and makes them explain their choices, both of which help their self-confidence a lot.
-It's better to use phrases, like “Your brother/sister looks up to you!” or “You're such a role model for your little brother/sister!”
-Children should never be forced to do anything that makes them uncomfortable, especially when it comes to physical contact.
-Children may start to feel responsible for expressed parental pride, like they need to keep it up because that’s the only way that Mom or Dad will feel good or love them.
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