Stan takes his $100 check and makes an investment into South Park Bank. Annndd it's gone. "Margaritaville" S13
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EXT. SOUTH PARK BANK -- DAY
Establishing.
INT. SOUTH PARK BANK -- DAY
Stan is with his dad in line to see a bank worker at his desk.
STAN
Do I really have to do this dad?
STAN'S DAD
Stan now more than ever you need to understand the importance of saving money.
STAN
But grandma said I could use this money to buy whatever I want.
BANK WORKER
Okay, next please!
STAN'S DAD
Go on Stanley.
Stan walks up to the desk and sit down.
BANK WORKER
How can I help you, young man?
STAN
I got a hundred dollar check from my grandma. And my dad said I need to put in the bank so it can grow over the years.
The worker takes the check from Stan and then starts typing as he talks.
BANK WORKER
Well that's fantastic. A really smart decision, young man. We can put that check in a money market MUTUAL fund then we'll reinvest the earnings into foreign currency accounts with compounding interest annnd It's gone!
The guy just stares at Stan. Stan stares back.
STAN
Uhh... What?
BANK WORKER
It's gone. It's all gone.
STAN
What's all gone?
BANK WORKER
The money in your account, it didn't do too well. It's gone.
STAN
What do you mean? I have a hundred dollars.
BANK WORKER
Not anymore you don't. Poof.
They stare at each other some more.
STAN
Wul, what can I do to get back my-
BANK WORKER
I'm sorry, sir, but this line is for bank MEMBERS only.
STAN
I just opened an account!
BANK WORKER
Do you have any money invested with this bank?
STAN
No you just lost it all.
BANK WORKER
Then please stand aside for people who actually have money with us. Next please!
An old lady takes Stan's spot.
STAN
HEY!
BANK WORKER
Hello Mrs. Farnickle, how are you today? Making a deposit are we?
(typing)
Great we can just put that into your retirement account make it go to work for you AANNND It's gone.
OLD LADY
What?
BANK WORKER
Sorry, yeah, that's gone. Please step aside for people who actually have money with the bank. Next please.
STAN
DAD!!!
Stan's dad walks in to take the place
STAN'S DAD
Hey I'm trying to teach my son about the importance of savings! You already lost his money?!
BANK WORKER
Oh Mr. Marsh! Don't worry we can just transfer money from your account into a portfolio with your son's- AAAAAND IT'S GONE! THIS LINE IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONEY WITH THE BANK ONLY! PLEASE STEP ASIDE!
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